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Wine is...how shall we say...a very important part of our lives these days? Emotional-support juice, if you will? To wit: Any wine is fine, in this, the year 2020. It all gets the job done. But for the better days we have ahead (or the bleaker ones that call for the really good stuff), some bottles *are* worthier of your $$$ than others.
Our team of 27 wine experts (okay just our editors who all really like wine) conducted diligent testing during quarantine—for the greater good, obviously—and landed on these finalists. And now, we present to you the fruits (heh) of our labor. We didn't mean for it all to be so perfectly timed, but here we are.
THE GENERALLY EXCELLENT ONES
THE BEST ONES FOR DIFFERENT SCENARIOS
THE BEST ROSÉ ONES
THE BEST WINE HACKS WE LEARNED ALONG THE WAY
BEST GIRLS'-NIGHT-SIZE SITUATION
“It’s got cute packaging and a handle for dragging it to my BFF’s on Bachelor Mondays, and my judgy aunt loves the rich taste.”
—Sam Feher, editorial assistant
House Wine Cabernet Sauvignon, $22
BEST HOW-IS-THIS-NOT-CHAMPAGNE? PROSECCO
“Down a glass of this appley goodness and you’re dripping in diamonds you borrowed from RiRi. At least I was.”
—Rosa Heyman, deputy editor
Nobilissima Prosecco DOC, $15
MOST CHUGGABLE
“It smells like a really clean gray rock spritzed with pear juice and tastes like a splash of effervescent spa water to the face.”
—Mia Lardiere, Snapchat editor
Txomin Etxaniz Txakoli, $22
BEST NATURAL WINE
“This sparkling rosé is so natural you’re basically doing yoga when you drink it. Plus it has expensive-feeling bubbles and hints of pomegranate.”
—Katie Buckleitner, associate digital art director
Good Clean Spumante Rosé, $20
BEST EXPENSIVE-LOOKING BUDGET WINE
“I’m a Libra who loves aesthetically pleasing things. Enter: easily one of the prettiest bottles I’ve ever laid my eyes on. It’s refreshing, fruity, and affordable.”
—Starr Bowenbank, editorial assistant
JNSQ Rosé Cru, $29
BEST ACTUALLY EXPENSIVE WINE
“She smells like stewed cherries, rose petals, and a good portion of your paycheck. Intense, beautiful, and fully worth it.”
—ML
The Hilt Pinot Noir, $45
MOST GIFTABLE WINE
“This Cali-made cab sauv is chic enough for the swirly-glass crowd and still crushable for your Two Buck Chuck–lovin’ friends.”
—Jessica Goodman, op-ed editor
Tenshen Cabernet Sauvignon, $24
BEST RED WINE IF RED WINE GIVES YOU A HEADACHE
“It’s made with less-tannic grapes (?) and aged in clay (!), but TL;DR I finished most of a bottle after dinner without my head feeling like a smoothie.”
—Jen Ortiz, deputy editor
Costador 100% Trepat, “Metamorphika Amphora,” $34
BEST WHITE WINE IF WHITE WINE GIVES YOU A HEADACHE
“Sauvy B. is my girl, and this one in particular has been my BFF for years. The acidic, citrusy notes make me drool (in a good way), and I’ve polished off many bottles sans brain pain.”
—Ashley Oerman, deputy lifestyle director
Bonterra Sauvignon Blanc, $14
PRETTIEST LABEL
“I once got some horrible advice: ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover.’ Naturally, I completely ignored it and have had a much prettier life as a result. That’s what led me to this gorgeousness, which actually does taste as good as it looks. But that isn’t why we buy it, now, is it?”
—Jessica Pels, editor-in-chief
Summer in a Bottle White, $26
BEST TWIST-OFF
“Its cheap price tag and refreshingly sweet flavor got me through college, and the bright, sunshiny bottle has gotten me to, well, my mid-20s.”
—Sarah Weldon, associate Snapchat editor
Barefoot Pinot Grigio, $6
BEST CELEB-OWNED WINE
“Brangelina is no more, but they’re still churning out an A+ rosé. Also, their bottle has serious fancy French-lady vibes. Just add cheese.”
—SW
Miraval Rosé, $22
BEST MIMOSA BUBBLES
“This guy is dry enough if you’re all ‘champagne over everything’ and *just* fruity enough for me and everyone else. You might question your OJ-to-prosecco ratio forever.”
—Alexandra Whittaker, senior news editor
Martini & Rossi Prosecco DOC, $15
BEST GAS-STATION WINE
“Surprise! This blend of zinfandel, merlot, and cabernet sauvignon is found at 7-Eleven and tastes like finding $20 in your pocket (rich, I’m saying it’s rich).”
—AO
Ménage à Trois California Red Wine, $12
BEST PAIRS-WELL-WITH-TAKEOUT WINE
“Once I cracked open this intense, lip-smacking bottle, I forgot all about the excruciating estimated delivery wait time I still had to endure.”
—PC
Underwood Pinot Noir, $14
BEST GET-DRUNK-WITH-YOUR-ROOMIES WINE
“I’m done wasting valuable TV time debating my roommate who swears she hates red. This delicious one has literally made us dance on our coffee table before.”
—Shannon Barbour, news writer
Jam Jar Sweet Shiraz, $12
BEST SEX PRE-GAME WINE
“Since pretty much everyone likes sex but not everyone likes red, this intense and perfumy rosé is the winner. Bonus: no purple teeth.”
—ML
Tormaresca Calafuria Rosé, $15
BEST WINE FOR SHIT-TALKING
“With notes of sweet cherry and a cinnamon kick, this is my new go-to for sipping while spilling tea. Also, the name is, like…too perfect.”
—PC
19 Crimes The Warden, $25
BEST BATHTUB WINE
“Yes! Chardonnay! It is equal parts dry and fruity (hi, apple, pear, and lemon), tastes great with ice, and makes me feel civilized as fuck.”
—Ruby Buddemeyer, beauty editor
Napa Cellars Chardonnay, $22
BEST HUMP DAY WINE
“When I’m like, ‘WOW, how is it NOT the weekend yet?’ this fruit-forward citrus blend o’ flavors is extra light, so I never miss my alarm in the morning.”
—Mariah Schlossmann, editorial business assistant
Santa Margherita Pinot Grigio, $25
BEST FOR CRYING
“This bubbly drink of my youth tastes like Rich Girl Juice and is a step up from my usual sad liquor-store pinot gris. Pop the bottle open and let it spray away your tears.”
—SW
La Marca Prosecco DOC, $18
BEST WINE TO DRINK BY YOURSELF WHILE WATCHING REALITY TV
“Obvious Wines was on Shark Tank and got $160,000 from Lori Greiner! What better brand is there to chug while yelling obscenities at Peter Weber!”
—AW
Obvious Wines Light & Lively, $18
BEST FOR SPRING
“It’s affordable and corkless and it pairs well with cheese and bread on a sunny day. Imagine a slightly fizzy Kool-Aid. This is her.”
—ML
Broadbent Vinho Verde Rosé, $10
BEST FOR SUMMER
“When it’s drippy, I need a fresh wine that makes hauling a cooler to the pool worth it. This gorge bottle has fruity flaves and finishes with notes of candy. CANDY!”
—AO
Cote des Roses Rosé, $15
BEST FOR FALL
“Meet the perfect in-betweener rosé. The strawberry sniffs are summery, while savory notes give it weight for cold-weather festivities.”
—KB
Charles & Charles Rosé, $15
BEST FOR WINTER
“Nothing will restore your will to live during the bleakest months like a chilled glass of this. It legit tastes like the beach: mineral-y, light, and a teeny bit fruity.”
—JO
Minuty Prestige, $30
BEST ACTUAL ROSÉ CANDY
“It’s been haunting gracing your Instagram feed for years for a good fucking reason: It tastes goooooood. You won’t get drunk, but you will be the best party guest if you bring these.”
—SW
Sugarfina, Rosé All Day gummies, $9
BEST ROSÉ TO MAKE FROSÉ WITH
“This bright, acidic, spicy wine was basically born to be poured into a blender.”
—SB
Kitá Grenache Rosé, $20
Still thirsty? Keep reading to level up while tipping back
Illustrations by Natalia Volgina. Lead animation by Katie Czerwinski.
Hey there! This story originally appeared in the June 2020 issue of Cosmopolitan. So if you like what you see (wink), subscribe here!
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