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A man driving a sedan signaled a tanker truck filled with wine to pull over in Modesto, Calif. After the trucker complied, thinking that the man had mechanical problems, the guy got out of his car wearing only his underwear and ran around to the other side of the truck. As the trucker pulled back onto the freeway, the guy climbed under the belly of the truck, unscrewed a valve, and drank wine as the truck traveled up Highway 99. More than 1,000 gallons poured out.
WHAT’S THAT NOISE IN THE TRUNK, SIR? A man was arrested for trying to smuggle his girlfriend from Gauteng province to Mpumalanga province in Johannesburg, South Africa, in the trunk of his car to evade coronavirus lockdown regulations. The woman “consented to be smuggled” and was also arrested.
BUT OFFICER, I’M THE MAGIC BEER FAIRY! An intoxicated man broke into a funeral home in Old Forge, Pa., stripped naked and put a bottle of beer in a display casket. He’s also suspected of breaking into a car outside the funeral home and leaving a can of Natural Ice beer in the center console.
MADE WITH 100% NATURAL INGREDIENTS: Postal inspectors in Lodi, Calif., opened a suspicious package and found a jar of peanut butter with two baggies full of cocaine hidden inside.
AND WE WANT TO MAKE SURE THE FISH COOPERATE: State troopers pulled over a speeding vehicle in Canton Township, Mich., and discovered four handguns, ammunition and a firearm silencer in the car. The occupants told the officers that they were going fishing.
DEWEY DECIMAL? WHAT’S THAT? A well-meaning cleaning lady who was giving a locked-down library in Suffolk, England, a thorough cleansing took the opportunity to re-shelve all of the books — in order of size. The librarian said that the staff was amused and is currently correcting the situation.
I WAS SPEAKING METAPHORICALLY, OFFICER: A 50-year-old woman in Port Clinton, Ohio, who “appeared highly intoxicated,” called 911 to report that her private parts were “on fire,” and said that she needed someone from the fire department to “put it out with their hose.” Responding officers found no fire and arrested her for disrupting public services, making false alarms, resisting arrest and disorderly conduct,
ARE YOU RELATED TO ANY OTHER MAKE-BELIEVE PEOPLE, SIR? A man was charged with threatening a woman with a pistol in Port St. Lucie, Fla., after police found a Glock pistol, a semi-automatic rifle and a bulletproof vest in his Porsche SUV. He told police that the vehicle and the weapons belonged to his cousin “John Wick,” a fictional character in a blood-and-bullet-soaked movie franchise starring Keanu Reeves.
WHY WON’T HE TAKE ME BACK!? WHY!? An apparently jealous woman broke into the home of a man who had a no-contact order against her in Red Lion, Pa., and attacked a lady she found inside.
SOME GUYS YOU JUST DON’T MESS WITH: A guy in Altoona, Pa., attacked another guy with a pool cue, then shot at him but missed. He is now in custody.
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May 10, 2020 at 02:26AM
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The wine was rich, intense yet velvety and a bit oaky - Boston Herald
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